Caifeng | "Old Songs · Time · Love"

December 1, 2024

I’m reminded of a small series of interesting events from ten years ago. *Drifting Across the Sea to See You* is one of my life’s soundtracks. A long time ago, when I went to KTV with familiar friends, they would always play it for me first. Not long after, it became Xiao Chun’s must-play song: Wu Bai’s *The Ring*.

In 2014, I had been in Dali for over a year. At that time, I was still helping out at Ah Tai's underground billiards hall. After a few months, I began to feel a bit lost and had the idea of walking and hitchhiking to Tibet. I quickly put this plan into action, borrowing a backpack from Ah Tai, taking a DSLR camera, and using the over 1,000 yuan I had just earned to get ready for the trip.

It so happened that it was during the May Day holiday. Jia Jia was in Dali for a visit and also planned to pick up some beads and items she had left at her ex-boyfriend's place. However, her ex told her he had sold them and that she could only get 800 yuan back. We had arranged to meet at a cold noodle shop on People’s Road, one we had frequented before. She knew I was preparing for the trip to Tibet and that I didn’t have much money, so she gave me the 800 yuan under an unspoken excuse, asking me to bring her back a few special stones from the road to Tibet. One dared to ask, the other dared to accept. When I came back, I didn’t bring her any stones.

We met again in 2016, right after I had broken up with *The Ring*. Xiao Chun was still deep in the sorrow of that breakup.

At that time, she was working at the Guangzhou branch of a company based in Dali. She came to the headquarters for a few months to plan an event. During that time, we spent a lot of time together. When I had free time, I would ride my motorcycle to take her back and forth between her accommodation and the company’s event planning location. She would work, and I would hang out in the *Cloud Sea Herb Garden* smoking, relaxing. Sometimes she would stay at my place because the place the company arranged for her was noisy at night. I was still working at the Midnight Diner, coming back at 5 or 6 a.m., so it was quieter, and no one disturbed her while she thought about work. After spending time together, we naturally became a couple. This is also where the later stories of me being a “heartbreaker,” a “scumbag,” and having three girlfriends in six months originated.

Back to *Drifting Across the Sea to See You*, after returning, I still had to find a job to support myself. I initially found a job as a server at *Aiya! Little Lobster* on Douban. I was supposed to start the next day, but it happened to rain heavily, and I was lying on the couch at a youth hostel called "Rogue Shelter" in an old house on People’s Road. I sighed, "Forget it, it’s raining too much, I won’t go." The rain lasted for several days, and when the weather cleared, I found a new job on Douban — at the Midnight Diner. Xiao Chun was the one who interviewed me. I was puzzled: why did a restaurant only open at night, and why did you have to enter through a side door instead of the main entrance? When I lifted the Japanese-style curtain at the side door, the first person I saw was *The Ring*. I asked, "Are you hiring?" *The Ring* smiled foolishly at me and turned toward the kitchen, calling out, "Xiao Chun, someone’s here for the interview..." Looking back now, I think this is when my life began to change significantly. I met a lot of people and experienced many stories. I’ll share more when there’s a chance.

Back to *Drifting Across the Sea to See You*. A few months after working at the Midnight Diner, *The Ring* quit and went to Nepal with her then boyfriend. I was left working with Xiao Chun. We canceled our Monday off and Jason came in to fill in for two days each week, so Xiao Chun and I could take turns for a break.

At one point, Xiao Chun took time off to attend a Li Zhi concert in Nanjing or somewhere. I worked with Jason and, during our breaks, we would talk about Xiao Chun, complaining, "She really is a true artsy youth..." After she returned from the concert, Xiao Chun was in a much more excited mood. That artistic heart of hers began to stir, and she decided to go on a motorcycle trip. The journey of Xiao Chun’s motorcycle travel became one of her legendary experiences. In those years, we would often talk about it, enjoying the endless conversation. Each time we talked, we learned something new. I gradually gained a complete understanding of the whole story (I think Jason has written a detailed account somewhere).

If I remember correctly, Jason also wanted to ride a motorcycle to Tibet at that time. After all, who doesn’t have an artistic heart? As a result, the Midnight Diner had to close for a while, and I was left without work. Around that time, my parents kept urging me to help out at a cafeteria on a construction site in Jiangsu. They didn’t want me to stay in Dali doing nothing so far from home.

When I got to the construction site, I didn’t really help much. I pulled a network cable, but most of the time I just played video games. When it was time for meals, I ate and slept in a very routine way. My parents didn’t say anything, but I was uncomfortable with this life. After a month, I told them I wanted to return to Dali to work. Coincidentally, Xiao Chun had just been released from detention and had returned to Dali to run the restaurant again.

Perhaps influenced by *Drifting Across the Sea to See You*, I wanted to move on and close a chapter. I calculated that I wouldn’t have enough money for both transportation and living expenses once I got back to Dali, so I called Li Shan to borrow about 1,000 yuan and bought a ticket to Shenyang. Following the address she had given me before, I arrived at her neighborhood and called her. After chatting for a bit, I told her I was downstairs. My heart was racing, and she was shocked, thinking I was lying. She came down, and after a bit of silence, she finally spoke: “I have a boyfriend now.” I replied, “I guessed as much. I just wanted to see you one last time.” It was a bit awkward. I think it was around September or October. The weather in Shenyang was quite cold, and I didn’t know whether it was fog or just the weather, but the visibility was very low, and I couldn’t see the top of the high-rise buildings. It left a bad impression of Shenyang.

Before I went, I had already booked a hotel near her place. I planned to stay one night and then return to Dali. She wanted to join me at the hotel to catch up, but the hotel was strict and wouldn’t allow unmarried men and women to share a room. It was freezing outside, so we had to chat in the hotel lobby. In the end, I told her I would return to Dali the next day. She said, "Let me make you some dumplings before you go." I said, "Sure, they were really good."

Since I didn’t have much budget, I bought a hard-seat train ticket from Shenyang to Kunming, which took over fifty hours. When I arrived at the train station, there were two or three hours until departure, so I went to an internet café nearby to kill time. While I was playing games, she went out and bought a lot of food. At the time, I was focused on the game and didn’t pay much attention to her, just telling her, "Just leave it here. You don’t need to wait for me." I didn’t look at her expression.

After returning to Dali, she called me a few times, talking about random things. I always made excuses, saying I was busy or buying groceries for the shop. Eventually, I just stopped answering her calls. In my heart, I had already closed that chapter and didn’t want any further involvement.

I didn’t expect to write so much. I’ve left out a lot of details, taking it easy in the writing. Maybe it’s because I’ve been feeling a bit emotionally overwhelmed lately. While writing this, my phone kept looping Zhang Yusheng’s *Still Friends*. Next time we go to KTV, I don’t need to say anything. Please, friends, just play this song for me.

(2015?) Midnight Diner (before a hot spring trip)