Weed Scene | Freedom Path
2025.02.24
It was midnight when we got back to Dali. After You copied the videos from my camera, she thought I would stay at her house overnight, but I wanted to go home. We walked to the door together, and You took out the electric bike key and prepared to ride me to the parking place. I said no. Seeing that she insisted, I was ready to run first.
Dali at midnight is beautiful. Are all the empty midnights beautiful? I was carrying a heavy bag, my steps were so light, and I wanted to sing. The man behind me said in a voice just loud enough for me to hear: "The electric bike is out of power, send me a message when you get home." Me: "Okay, go back soon."
Whenever I went back to Dali in the past, I always had a feeling of escaping reality and finally returning to reality. But this time I didn’t feel that way, and I don’t know why.
I called Chen on the way home and described my feelings to him. He said, "That's great, it means you are freer now, no longer restricted by the region, you are free wherever you go."
At this time, Chen was staying in Hangzhou, on his "long journey back to Dali". He said on the phone that he had just returned to the B&B after eating spicy hot pot.
It was very windy tonight. When I walked home from where I parked my car, I was a little worried that something would blow over and hit me, so I quickened my pace upstairs.
2025.02.28
I haven't done anything serious these days. Except for going up the mountain yesterday to check out the new route and prepare to update the information of the pine cone picking activity. It's the annual key fire prevention period again, and the wild path to Jizhao Temple for vegetarian meals is closed. As I write this, a familiar playing song floats into my ears. It is a fire prevention song that floats into my ears every day when I lived at the foot of Yunfeng Village. It seems to be played by the erhu, but I don't quite understand it. Because at that time I always sat in the yard to knead mud, and when I heard this song, I could recall the feeling of kneading mud.
I haven't studied much these past few days, so I studied hard this morning. Although when I think back, I don't seem to have many specific words in my head, but I did spend a lot of time.
At noon, Xiaoyang sent me a message asking if I wanted to go to her house for lunch tomorrow. I was so hungry at that time and didn't want to go out to buy food, so I called her and asked, "Can I come to your house for lunch now? I'm so hungry." Since she had already eaten lunch, I could only make the unpalatable mushroom instant noodles. After a while, she brought the leftover cold Gongcai . It was delicious. After finishing the instant noodles, I couldn't bear to leave the leftover vegetables, so I cooked some alkaline noodles and continued to eat Gongcai.
I said I didn't want to cook recently and didn't want to go out, but I was hungry. Xiaoyang suggested that I could pay her some food expenses and go to her house for dinner. I said no, because if I did that, I would have to go to your house for dinner every day. If I didn't want to go for dinner one day, I would have to report it specially, which was also a kind of lack of freedom. Xiaoyang rolled his eyes at me, saying he was speechless.
Xiaoyang talked about her recent submission to Jason, and she enjoyed it and was very serious about it. It should be very happy when you try something new. Then, she praised the writings of me and Feibi, but I didn't praise her back, haha.
Xiaoyang: "I sent your article to my mom, and she said that Xiaojing's article didn't seem to have many views. People nowadays probably prefer to read articles with some content."
However, I am still thinking today: Can I remove some of the literary atmosphere in my future diary and become more concise? Just like a girl who cuts off her long hair and suddenly becomes as simple as a little boy.
After Xiaoyang left, Feibi brought me the fruits she brought back from Nujiang. Because her mother and sister were waiting for her downstairs, she put down the fruits and went downstairs immediately. Feibi often gave me gifts, but my return gifts were perfunctory. Once when I picked up the incense thread for her, she said, "Hey, you also gave me this last time."
After Sister Feibi left, I decided to go buy some groceries and cook, and get some water at the same time.
When I was buying groceries, I parked my car far away. I remembered that I parked outside a snack bar last time to be lazy. Since there were cars parked outside other stores during the market, I didn't think much about it. Unexpectedly, as soon as I closed the car door, the woman in the store ran out and yelled at me. I was shocked by such exaggerated yelling, but I had no desire to talk back, nor did I want to explain anything. I quietly moved the car to a place 1,000 meters away. Because it was a market day, there was no place to park within 1,000 meters. As the saying goes, everything has cause and effect. On a busy market day, other restaurants were crowded with people, but there was no one in a snack bar.
I have been thinking in my head these past two days, what exactly is this freedom that I have suddenly gained recently?
Could it be because: although I am here, I am already a person outside. Those strings that once wrapped around me can no longer bind anything?
Another part of freedom, I guess, is a gift from You. She passed on a little bit of the ingredients of wood to me, giving me a little bit of the ability to hide my edge. Jason actually has this ingredient of wood, but because at some point, our respective egos are too strong, when the two egos collide with each other, everyone wants to protect their own part. This actually hindered my real learning.
I used to think I was free enough because I was sharp enough. I thought sharpness was part of freedom. But now I realize that being able to put away the edge is the path to greater freedom.
If I want to have more experiences in life, I need to learn to be more restrained.
However, those who don't want to be associated can just stop being associated even if they put away their edge! Thinking of this, I searched my mind and it was probably just because I was annoyed, not hateful.
Boring stuff I did these days:
The sheep's head that Yan Zi gave was finally hung on the wall. Tied behind it were the moss and bark picked up on the west slope, in the hope that the sheep's head could sleep peacefully on it.
