Lamb | Leave
At the beginning of the epidemic, I got a job as a customer consultant for a luxury brand. For me, who had just graduated, the salary and benefits of that job were extremely generous. Because it was my first time to work in this industry, I was curious and passionate about everything. I thought this job was really great for me, so I worked hard with this pure heart.
Perhaps it was because of the excessive pressure of work during the epidemic. I gradually lost my original enthusiasm and expectations. The monotonous work content and the constant reception of guests every day made me feel resistant when facing people. I don't know since when, I no longer dare to look other people in the eye when speaking. The moment my eyes meet the other person, my brain becomes blank, I sweat, stammer and can't speak clearly, and even seem to have the urge to talk nonsense.
I was very depressed. I felt that I was no longer myself. I was just like everyone else living in a cubicle in a big city, working and living according to the routine. I fantasized about buying a house, getting married, having children, and trying to survive in this city. Those wonderful ideas I had when I was a child gradually disappeared, and I was like a machine repeating the same cycle over and over again.
What I look forward to most is the subway ride home after get off work. In the rumbling subway car, the music playing in my ears is turned up to the maximum, trying to block out the noisy sounds. I chose a seat in the corner, opened the salted butter Oreo cake I just bought from the underground passage, and put it into my mouth one bite after another with a small spoon. There is a station every two minutes, and the originally empty car is instantly crowded with people. Watching people outside the station pouring into the car is like watching sardines in a can. And I am one of the fish in this can, squeezing here and there.
"I quit, I quit!" A voice in my heart was clamoring. Just two months after the end of the epidemic, I quit my job in Wuxi and started a wandering life with tens of thousands of yuan in my pocket.
The day after I resigned, I boarded a plane to Wanning and saw the sea I had not seen for a long time. The hot air and sticky feeling on my back told me that everything I was experiencing was real.
I borrowed an electric bike and sped along the beach, riding an hour to town just for a cup of coffee. There were moments when the sun really shone on me, the sea breeze blew gently, the shadows of the trees fell on my cheeks, the insects chirped, the breeze blew through my hair, the leaves rustled, and I finally came alive.
