Xiao Jing | Conversation in the car

January 5, 2025

I went to Mengding for fun two days ago.

Yan Zi , Yang Mi and I were in the same car. I was the driver, and to prevent me from falling asleep, the three of us talked a lot. However, most of the time, Yan Zi and I talked, and Yang Mi listened. Sometimes Yang Mi wanted to find a topic to talk about, and she fell asleep while thinking, until my yawn woke her up.

swallow:

"When I was little, I had an idea that I must go see the world. I don't know why, but I just wanted to go see it."

"I've never been afraid of separation, and I don't even know why others cry when they break up. When I see someone leaving, I just feel envious. If I like him, then there's a chance we'll see each other again in the future."

"When other people's cats come to my house and meow, I find it so annoying! They are not cute at all. My own cats will be different."

"When I kill pigs, they scream and I feel pity for them. But I can kill fish, and I also feel pity for them, but I still kill them."

"I don't believe in God or any religion, but when I'm in a scary situation I'll chant something like 'Oh Amitabha' to comfort myself."

"When I was little, I loved going up the mountain to pick things, but my grandfather didn't like me bringing those things home. Only once did I pick a sweet-scented osmanthus tree and plant it at the door of my house. This time he didn't pull it out. Later, when I grew up and moved, he said he wanted to move the sweet-scented osmanthus tree with me because it was planted by Xiaoyanzi."

"I like people who grow flowers and plants at home. I always think that people like that must be romantic people living in their homes."

"Every time I want to write on the official account, I end up deleting it after writing it. I feel ashamed to express myself, so in the end I can only write simply like posting on WeChat Moments."

"I don't dare to express myself authentically because I'm afraid that others will see that I can't do it."

“I can’t do a job like a journalist. Sometimes I want to take some documentary photos, but I can’t help but retouch them and shoot them from beautiful angles.”

"Do you know why we like you? Because you have something we don't have, we are too greasy." Yan Zi said this to Yang Mi.

"When I was a teenager, I had a friend who sang on the square with his guitar every day. His fingers were all broken. He had no money. I envied him at that time. I also wanted to have something that I really liked to make, even if I had no money."

"The last time I went home to visit my uncle, he dug a lily for us on the hillside. He held the lily in his palm, showed it to us, and then immediately threw it away. I was a little surprised at the time, but I soon figured it out. He threw away the lily just like we throw away the Bidens pilosa flowers picked on the roadside. It's nothing big. If he held a wild lily that he didn't care about like a treasure, then it probably wouldn't be a big deal either."

“I can’t write anything or take photos that are absolutely authentic.

Sometimes I can only try to be more realistic, but I also know that this is what others will see, and I can't get rid of this feeling. But because we have this awareness and know that reality is good, that's enough. One day we will break through."

"I don't think I'm greasy, although I am a disgusting person most of the time, but I know in my heart what real greasyness is. Although you always say that you are indifferent, I don't think so. I believe that at critical moments, most people who look good on the surface are not as kind as you." I said to Yan Zi.

Perhaps, even if I didn't say this, Yan Zi understood this in her heart.

I always over-express myself, this is my current problem. Maybe I didn't know how to express myself before, so now I over-express myself. Just like before, I never said "no", now I always say "no". People always overdo things at a certain stage.

Yang Mi:

“I came to Dali because at that time, I wanted to find another possibility.”

"Maybe I was too well-behaved before."

Although Yang Mi doesn't talk much, she is a person with her own ideas, although I can't describe them clearly this time.

in addition:

"Is your home far from Xiangxi?" Yan Zi asked me.

"My home is in Xiangxi," I replied.

"Is there really corpse-carrying there?" Yan Zi asked again.

"I don't know either. I've never seen it. But I heard that there is a village where everyone knows where they were in their previous lives," I replied.

"Some people are just good at collecting information. Just ask more and you will find out." This is what Yan Zi said.

Haha, nothing can fool Yan Zi.